Thursday morning laundromat and I'm the only one here — every single thing I own is in that machine, including everything I was wearing. The vibration's doing something to me that I'm not going to apologize for. Come sit on the one next to mine, daddy 😈
Hispanic Heritage Month and the block party two blocks from my place pulled me in before I could even change. Three songs deep and this blouse gave up on me. You'd last maybe one dance, daddy 😈
Double cheeseburger with nothing on but the grease on my fingers — and I'm not even a little sorry about either one. Come take a bite, daddy 😈
The bakery had cream-filled donuts in the window and I took the whole box before anyone else could. Sitting on the curb with powdered sugar everywhere and cream I can't keep off my face. Come fight me for the last one, daddy 😈
The US Open final is on and I can't look away — somewhere between the second and third set I stopped caring about anything else, including clothes. Come watch the last set with me, daddy 😈
Turns out it's National Chocolate Milkshake Day and this one's already melting faster than I can keep up — sitting on the hood with the sun on my legs and nowhere to be. Come share this before it's gone, baby 😈
Found out it's National Video Game Day and I've been at this controller since midnight with no plan to stop. Just me, this oversized shirt, and a boss I can't beat. Come take the second player spot, daddy 😈
It's Make Your Bed Day and I'm celebrating by doing the exact opposite — these sheets haven't seen order since yesterday and I like it that way. Come make a bigger mess with me, baby 😈
Found out it's National TV Dinner Day and I'm celebrating properly — tray on my lap, something terrible on the screen, and not a single thing on. Come keep me company on this couch, daddy 😈
Found out it's National Wiener Schnitzel Day and I've been making the same joke about it for an hour and I'm not even a little sorry. The beer is absolutely helping. Want to hear my best one, daddy? 😈